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Getting Help

If you’ve been abused or know someone who has been abused, it’s time to get help.

How To Help Someone Who Is Abused?

It is important to help stop the violence a victim is experiencing. Sometimes the victim may not be ready to file a report against her abuser. She may instead need some support and counselling prior to making a report. You can play a role to support her. Also, an NGO like WCC can help counsel a domestic violence victim to help her understand her needs before taking further action. With the Domestic Violence Act 1994, domestic violence is a criminal offence, the government agencies such as the police, the Social Welfare Department and the hospitals, will assist her if she wishes to take action.

How You Can Support A Domestic Violence Victim

 

DO’s (What To Do)

  • Find a quiet space where the victim can talk to you privately.
    Many domestic violence victims may feel ashamed that others know about the matter. It is therefore important that she is assured of her privacy when listening to her. A victim may just want someone to listen to her or may want some action to stop the violence. Remember, never force a victim to do something she is not willing to do.
  • Believe the victim and be supportive. Reassure the victim that she is not at fault.
    When a victim feels she is not believed she will not disclose the abuse, and the chance to help her is lost. Sometimes victims may blame themselves. Remind them that no one deserves to be abused and there is no excuse for domestic violence.
  • Respect the victim’s need for confidentiality.
    It is important to respect the trust the victim has placed in you, keep her situation confidential. This will also help protect her against retaliation from the abuser and public/community scrutiny.
  • Ensure the victim’s safety.
    If you assess that a domestic violence victim is being harassed by someone when she comes to you for assistance, please take her directly to the police station for her own safety.
  • Be aware of the victim’s background; like the victim’s ethnicity, language or immigration status.
    The Domestic Violence Act 1994 applies to everyone regardless of their nationality, ethnicity or immigration status. If a person is not fluent in the language you are using, try and get an interpreter. Remember that speaking loudly does not improve the person’s understanding of the language.
  • Offer to accompany the victim to the police station if necessary.
    A domestic violence victim may be scared to go on her own as she may not know what to do once she gets there. She also may not have her own transport. Offering to accompany the victim will provide her with direct support.
  • If the victim requires medical attention, take her directly to the Emergency Department of any government hospital.
    If you feel the victim is injured and needs medical attention, she must be taken to the hospital for a medical check-up. Also, any physical evidence of the abuse should be documented where possible, as it will be helpful for police investigation.
 

DON’Ts (What Not To Do)

  • Do NOT blame the victim or ask her what she did to cause the violence.
    Do not ask question like “What did you do?” places the blame of the violence onto the victim. Domestic violence is an abuse of power in a relationship. The perpetrator is responsible for the violence inflicted on the victim. Blaming the victim (e.g. by saying “Why did you say that? No wonder he got angry!”) will turn her away and you will have lost the chance to help the victim.
  • Do NOT trivialise the violence, or suggest that the victim should forgive her abuser or be patient and try again.
    Domestic violence is a serious issue. It not only causes physical and/or emotional harm to a person, but in extreme cases can lead to fatalities. Once domestic violence begins, it will escalate over time if no action is taken. It is therefore important to support the victim to take action to put a stop to it.
  • Do NOT make any decisions for the victim or expect her to make a decision quickly.
    Make sure that you do not make any decisions on her behalf or force her into making a decision. Always provide the victims with options she can take and the consequences of her choices. Breaking the cycle of violence is a decision the victim has to make for herself. Give her time and space to make the decisions she needs to make.
  • Do NOT suggest a joint meeting with the victim and her abuser.
    Domestic violence is an abuse of power in a relationship where one person tries to control another person. Bringing the abuser and victim together may terrify the victim further. She may not be able to be open about what happened for fear of further reprisal at home. Should the victim specifically request for a joint meeting with the abuser, refer them to a qualified counsellor.
  • If the victim has already left home, do NOT inform anyone of her new location without her permission.
    A victim will usually only leave her home for fear of her own safety. Her new location should be kept confidential to protect her from any harassment from the abuser or his friends or family. Remember, extreme cases of domestic violence have led to deaths of victims.

Government Agencies Who Can Assist A Domestic Violence Victim

 

Get Help from the Police

Lodge a Police Report
  1. You can go to any police station to lodge a police report.
  2. In the police report, you should write down the details of how the abuser abused you. Provide details of the incident clearly such as:
    • When: When did it occur? Include date and times of abuse.
    • Where: Where did it happen – location?
    • What: What was the incident?
    • Who: Who was involved and who was the abuser?
    • How: How did it happen?
    • Effect: What’s the effect on you after the incident? Bruises, injury, etc.
    • Why: Why is the report being lodged? For protection against the abuser, for police to take action, etc.
  3. To save time, you can prepare by writing or typing and printing a detailed report before going to the police station. Only Bahasa Malaysia or English are accepted languages for police reports. If you cannot speak or write either language, please bring a person who can assist in translations.
  4. After the report is made, the front desk police officer will print a copy of the police report for you.
  5. The front desk police officer will then refer you to an Investigating Officer (IO) in the Sexual, Women, and Child Investigations (D11) Unit of the District Police Station where you have lodged the complaint.
  6. The IO will interview you for the details of the incident. This is called a police statement which will be used for investigating the case.
  7. The IO will also summon the abuser (the alleged suspect) for investigation and to record his statement.
  8. The IO will then submit the investigation papers to the State Prosecution Office which will then decide whether to charge the suspect for the crime committed.
  9. In a situation where you do not want to make a police report, you can make a cover report instead. A cover report takes the same format as a police report EXCEPT that at the end of the report, you should state that you are making the report for record purposes only and that you do not want any action taken against the abuser. A cover report will document the domestic violence incident but will not lead to the investigation process.
Applying for an Interim Protection Order (IPO)
The Interim Protection Order (IPO) is an important provision in the Domestic Violence Act 1994. An IPO offers temporary legal protection for the victim, her children and her relatives. An IPO is a court order to stop the abusive husband, parent or relative from committing further acts of violence against the victim. The IPO is temporary and valid as long as investigations are carried out by the police. The IPO is often a strong deterrent to further violence.

  1. If you fear for the safety of yourself and your children or face further violence from the abuser, you must inform the IO that you would like to obtain an IPO. You can also ask for the IPO to include your children or other family members who may also fear for their safety.
  2. If the IO assesses that you should have an IPO, the IO will give you a referral letter which confirms that the case is under police investigation. You then have to take this referral letter to the Social Welfare Department (Jabatan Kebajikan Masyarakat) together with your identity card, children’s birth certificates/identity cards, and government medical report (if any). The Social Welfare Department will then assist you to apply for an IPO at the Magistrate’s Court. A copy of the IPO will be given to you.
  3. If you want to retrieve your belongings but you are too fearful to go home, you can make a request to the IO for a police officer to accompany you to pick up your belongings.
  4. Once the IPO is issued by the Magistrate’s Court, the police will serve the IPO on the abuser within 7 days.
Applying for Protection Order (PO)
Once the police investigation is completed, the IPO is no longer applicable. If the accused is charged in court with a domestic violence offence, the court may issue a Protection Order (PO) for protection.

  1. You have to make a new request for a PO to the IO and the Deputy Public Prosecutor (DPP), if you require.
  2. The PO can include additional conditions or provisions such as restraining the abuser from entering the victim’s house or her workplace, or keeping a distance of at least 50 metres from the victim. The PO can provide protection for up to a year.
  3. Should the PO be violated, you should lodge a report with the police immediately.

Get Help from the Social Welfare Department

The Social Welfare Department (Jabatan Kebajikan Masyarakat) can assist you in a number of ways. If you lodge a complaint with the Social Welfare Department, they will:
  • provide you with counselling,
  • encourage you to lodge a police report,
  • encourage you to seek medical attention from the One Stop Crisis Centre (OSCC) in government hospitals if needed,
  • assist you with an application for an IPO,
  • assist you with an application for a PO if the abuser is charged,
  • issue an Emergency Protection Order (EPO),
  • provide temporary shelter if needed,
  • provide financial aid if needed, and/or
  • refer you to relevant agencies for specific purposes.
Assistance with application for an Interim Protection Order (IPO)
  1. With the referral letter for an IPO from the police, the welfare officer will help you to apply for an IPO from the Magistrate’s Court.
  2. The welfare officer will fix an appointment with you to go to the Magistrate’s Court to apply for an IPO.
  3. At the Magistrate court, the magistrate will interview you about your case.
  4. If satisfied that you do need an IPO, the magistrate will issue an IPO to you. Each agency involved (i.e. the Social Welfare Department and the police) will receive a copy of the IPO and the police will serve a copy of the IPO on the abuser.
  5. If the abuser continues to harass you, you can lodge another police report for the IO to take further action. If the IPO is still valid, action can be taken against the abuser for violating the IPO or breaching a Court Order. If your IPO is attached with the power of arrest, the Investigating Officer can take immediate action by arresting him. In the process of applying for an IPO, it is advisable to ask the magistrate for the power of arrest to be attached to the IPO. You can enquire with your welfare officer about this.
Issuance of an Emergency Protection Order (EPO)
  1. If you need protection urgently or are not yet ready to lodge a police report but want protection, you should inform the nearest Social Welfare Department.
  2. An authorised welfare officer will interview you, fill up the relevant form, and issue an EPO for you. A police report is not required in the application of an EPO.
  3. An EPO will only be valid for 7 days and is not renewable. You can decide on your next course of action during the 7 days. The EPO functions in a similar manner to the IPO and PO and if violated, the abuser is liable to punishment.

Get Medical Help from the Government Hospital

  1. If you are injured, go to the Emergency Department of the nearest government hospital for medical treatment. You will be treated in a private room called the One Stop Crisis Centre (OSCC)*.
  2. If there is a police counter, tell the police officer that you are a victim of domestic violence seeking medical treatment. The police will give you a form known as Form 59 on which the doctor will record the injuries.
  3. The hospital will prepare a medical report, which is an official document of injuries sustained. It is a document which can be used as evidence if the case goes to court.
*OSCCs are set up in all government hospitals across the country. In Penang, there are six OSCCs in the main and district hospitals. Going to the OSCC allows victims to access help from the police, the Social Welfare Department and the Women’s Centre for Change (WCC) which works closely with the hospitals in Penang.

Get Help from the Islamic Department

The Domestic Violence Act 1994 applies to everyone, including Muslims and non-Muslims.
  1. If you are a Muslim and forced to leave your house for your own safety, you must inform the Islamic Department (Jabatan Agama Islam) that you have left the matrimonial home and the reason for you to do so.
  2. Your safety and well-being takes priority. You can lodge a complaint with the Islamic Department after you have made a police report or after you have had a medical checkup. The Islamic Department will record your complaint and contact the abuser to provide couple counselling for reconciliation, where possible.

Get Help from the Non-Governmental Organisations (NGOs)

Contact any women’s organisation like WCC for help. We provide immediate counselling during this crisis period.
  1. Our social worker can accompany you to the police station, hospital, and Social Welfare Department if necessary. If the case goes to court, provide court support.
  2. You can get temporary shelter for yourself and your children from WCC.

Safety Plan: Leaving a Violent Spouse

If you feel you and your children’s lives are in danger, plan now for an emergency exit. Always have a safety plan. You and your children’s safety is the most important thing. If you are in an abusive relationship, think about:

  1. Having important phone numbers for you and your children such as the police, relatives, friends, and the local women’s organisation.
  2. Friends or neighbours you could tell about the abuse. Ask them to call the police if they hear angry or violent noises.
  3. How to get out of your home safely. Practise ways to get out.
  4. Think about ways that you could get any harmful object or weapon out of the house.
  5. Even if you do not plan to leave, think of where you could go. Think of how you might leave. Put together a bag of things you use every day (see the checklist below). Hide it where it is easy for you to get.
  6. Going over your safety plan often.
 
Safety Plan Checklist

If you consider leaving your abuser, think about:

  1. Two places you could go if you leave your home.
  2. How you could take your children with you safely. There are times when taking your children with you may put all of your lives in danger. You need to protect yourself to be able to protect your children.
  3. Putting together a bag of things you use every day. Hide it where it is easy for you to get.
  4. People who might help you if you left. Think about people who will keep a bag for you. Think about people who might lend you money.
  5. Opening a bank account or getting a credit card in your name.

If you and your children feel threatened and you need to leave the violent home, remember these tips: keep a bag of essentials in a safe and hidden place where the abuser cannot find it, like:

  • Identity card, birth certificate, driving licence, marriage certificate, school certificates
  • Cash, jewellery, bank book, ATM card, credit card, passport, insurance policy
  • Clothes and shoes
  • Handphone and address book/contact details
  • Keys – house, car, office, safe deposit box

Plan a safety route. Have a plan ready in case you have to leave home suddenly. In case the house door is locked, make sure you have the house keys to leave the house. Keep important contact numbers with you at all times. These should include close relatives, friends, police and hospital. Consider when it is the best time to leave. Plan to take your children with you should you decide to leave especially if they are young. If you leave without them, you may not have easy access to them subsequently. Sometimes your spouse may coerce you to return by using the children as an excuse.

If you have left your abuser, think about:

  • Getting an EPO from the Social Welfare Department and filing a police report against the abuse.
  • Getting an IPO from the court. Keep a copy with you all the time.
  • Changing the locks in your home.
  • Telling colleagues, friends, and neighbors that your abuser no longer lives with you.
  • Telling people who take care of your children the names of people who are allowed to pick them up. If you have an IPO protecting your children, give their teachers and babysitters a copy of it.
  • Telling someone at work about what has happened. Ask that person to screen your calls.
  • Think about and practise a safety plan for your workplace. Use a variety of routes to go home, if possible.
  • Not visiting the same shops that you did when you were with your abuser.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Will my spouse go to jail if I lodge police report?
Under the Domestic Violence Act 1994, domestic violence is now a crime. The purpose of your police report is to file an official complaint about your spouse’s violence and not to immediately put him in jail. When you lodge a police report, the Investigating Officer (IO) will first meet up with you to record your statement based on your police report. The IO will then call your spouse for his statement on the incident. Upon completing the investigation, the Deputy Public Prosecutor (DPP) will decide whether to charge your spouse based on the evidence collected. Only if your spouse is found guilty by the court will he be imprisoned.

What if the police refuse to take my report?
No police officer can refuse any person from making a report at any police station. If it happens to you, you can complain to the Head of the police station (Ketua Balai Polis) in the police station itself.

Can I call the police if I am confined by my spouse?
Yes, you can. Call 999 and they will direct your call to the nearest police station. Tell the police your home address and they will send the police patrol car to your house immediately. If your spouse is there when the police arrives, have the courage to tell the police that you need help. Then, follow the police officer to the police station and you may wish to formally lodge a police report against your spouse for locking you inside your house.

Can I lodge a police report against my spouse and inform the police not to take any action?
Yes, you can. The report can be made for safety and also kept as a record of his abuses against you.

I want to lodge a police report but I am not fluent in Bahasa Malaysia or English, what can I do?
You need to inform the police officer at the front desk of the police station. They will either arrange for a translator or ask the person who accompanies you to be the translator if they can speak Bahasa Malaysia or English. You can also ask your family members or friends who can speak Bahasa Malaysia or English to accompany you and help you to translate. I was abused mentally and emotionally but not physically, can I still lodge a police report? Emotional abuse is a form of domestic violence under the Domestic Violence Act 1994. Therefore, you have the right to lodge a police report. Also, you can get a psychiatric assessment as evidence that the emotional abuse negatively impacted your mental health, to support your police report.

If my boyfriend hits me, can I lodge a police report?
Yes, you can lodge a police report for assault. However, the Domestic Violence Act 1994 does not cover this relationship but he can be charged under the Penal Code.

Can I get a protection order without making a police report, as I am still considering whether I want the police to take action against my abusive husband?
If you are at risk being physically abused or have been physically abused, you can apply for an Emergency Protection Order (EPO) from the Social Welfare Department (Jabatan Kebajikan Masyarakat) at your district without making a police report. The EPO will be issued by an authorised Social Welfare Officer at any time (24 hours). The EPO is valid for 7 days and is not renewable.

Can I apply for an Interim Protection Order (IPO) if I did not register my marriage?
Yes, you can apply for an IPO. You will need to bring proof of your marriage such as photos to the agencies to show that you had undergone a customary marriage ceremony with the abusive partner.

What if my spouse hurts or threatens me after I have obtained an Interim Protection Order (IPO)?
You have to lodge a police report and contact your Investigating Officer immediately. If your Interim Protection Order (IPO) is attached with the power of arrest, the Investigating Officer can take immediate action by arresting him. In the process of applying for an IPO, it is advisable to ask the magistrate for the power of arrest to be attached to the IPO. You can enquire with your Social Welfare Officer about this.

How do I get my belongings back after I leave the violent home?
After you have lodged a police report, tell your Investigating Officer that you need to collect your belongings. They will assign a police officer to accompany you to your house to collect your belongings. You can also approach a welfare officer as well.

Where can I go if violence happens at night and I have nobody to turn to?
You can go to the Emergency Department at the nearest government hospital. Tell the staff nurse in charge about your emergency situation and that you need a safe place to stay overnight. The nurse will arrange a room for you. You can call WCC or any other NGOs for help the next morning.

If I leave my house, do I have the right to take my children away?
Both the father and mother have equal guardianship and custody of the children. You have the right to take them along with you when you leave your home. This is important if you fear that your spouse might abuse your children or they are still young and your spouse might not be able to take care of them.

As a Muslim wife, if I was beaten up by my husband, how do I leave my house without being accused of being nusyuz?
You can go to the Islamic Department (Jabatan Agama Islam) to lodge the complaint about the abuse. You have to tell the Ustaz that you have already left home to seek a safer place. It is better if you have a police report about the abusive incident.

What stops victims from leaving their abusers?
There are many factors that cause the victim to not be able to leave the abusive relationship. For example, financial dependency, lack of support from family or friends, and children. Sometimes, the victim still has high hopes that the abusive partner will change. Therefore, it would not be easy for a victim to leave the abusive relationship.

Check out books, posters & pamphlets and videos on Domestic Violence.

Back to Domestic Violence page.