Myths & Realities
Myth: My bf/gf is always jealous because he/she loves and cares about me.
Reality: Mild jealousy is common in any relationship. However, when jealousy takes the form of possessiveness and control, it is an obvious sign that you are in a toxic relationship. When your bf/gf always wants to know where you are, what you are doing, and who you are with, or gets angry if you spend time with other people, such jealousy is a sign of insecurity and a need to control you, not a sign of love. Trust and respect are signs of love. Extreme jealousy is not.
Myth: If I love my partner, I must have sex with him/her.
Reality: In a healthy relationship, each person finds out what the other is really feeling and respects his or her limits. There are many ways to express your love or affection for someone other than sex. You should not have sex if it is mainly to keep the relationship. If your partner intimidates you and refuses to stop after you have said “no”, or forces you to have sex, then it is rape.
Myth: My bf/gf forces himself/herself on me because he/she cannot control him/herself.
Reality: Your bf/gf is fully capable of controlling his/her sexual urges. Not being able to control him/herself is an unacceptable excuse for forcing you to have sex. If your bf/gf forces you to have sex after you have said “no”, then it is sexual assault. You should seek help and lodge a police report.
Myth: I won’t get pregnant when I have sex for the first time.
Reality: Unprotected sex or contraceptive failure (improper use of condom or condom breaks) can result in pregnancy even if it is a girl’s first sexual encounter. Pregnancy can also result if ejaculation takes place outside but near the vaginal opening. Emergency contraception is available but needs to be taken within 72 hours of having unprotected sex. This, however, should not be used as a form of long-term contraception. Overused and taking emergency contraceptive pills for long period of time is harmful for the body.
Myth: If I am dating someone, I should spend all my time with him/her.
Reality: In a healthy relationship, you are allowed to have your own personal time for yourself and other people in your life. It is important to have a bf/gf that respects your independence. Having personal boundaries is an indication that you are in a healthy relationship. It is also good to spend some special time with your bf/gf.
Myth: If we have arguments, it is a bad sign.
Reality: In all relationships, having arguments is unavoidable. Having arguments with your bf/gf does not automatically mean you are in an unhealthy or abusive relationship. However, if arguments happen regularly and escalate into abusive behaviours, it is a sign that you are in an unhealthy relationship. It is important that you talk to someone who can help you.
Myth: It is okay to break up and get back to a relationship multiple times.
Reality: Breaking up and getting back to a relationship multiple times could be a sign of an unhealthy relationship. It is important to consider the reasons for rekindling your relationship with your bf/gf after breaking up. If you were in an unhealthy or abusive relationship, it is okay to end the relationship.
Check out useful resources on Teen & Dating Violence.
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