Cycle of Violence

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The cycle of violence describes the pattern that often occurs when a woman is abused by her husband or partner. While each woman’s experience may be different, the cycle points out the phases that tend to occur in an abusive relationship.

They often follow a three-phase cycle:

  • Stage 1: Tension Building Phase
  • Stage 2: Violent Phase
  • Stage 3: Honeymoon Phase

Stage 1: Tension Building Phase

  • Abuser starts to get angry
  • Abuse may begin
  • There is a breakdown of communication
  • Victim feels the need to calm the abuser
  • Tension becomes too much
  • Victim feels like she is ‘walking on egg shells’

Stage 2: Violent Phase

  • Abuser hits the victim
  • Severe injuries occur on the victim

Stage 3: Honeymoon Phase

  • Abuser may apologize for abuse
  • Abuser may promise it will never happen again
  • Abuser may blame the victim for causing the abuse
  • Abuser may deny abuse took place or say it was not as bad as the victim claims
  • Abuser acts like the abuse never happened
  • Promises made during this stage
  • Victim may hope that the abuse is over
  • Abuser may give gifts to the victim

The cycle can happen hundreds of times in an abusive relationship. The total cycle can take anywhere from a few hours to a year or more to complete. It is important to remember that not all domestic violence relationships fit the cycle. Often, as time goes on, the ‘honeymoon’ stages disappear.

Adapted from the original concept of: Walker, Lenore. The Battered Woman. New York: Harper and Row, 1979.