Victims’ Stories
Incest/Rape
I am 17 year old. I come from a family of 5 children. My father is the bread winner of the family and my mother is a home-maker. Since young I have been close to my father even though he is a very strict person. He always has the final say in all decision-making in the family.
My father first started raping me when I was 7 years old. I did know that what my father was doing was considered rape. Initially, it started by my father asking me to watch pornographic movies with him and he asked me to do exactly what we had viewed in these movies. Many times he would force me to have oral sex with him. During this time he told me that what he was doing was in fact “an act of love” from a father. Hearing this, I allowed myself to believe that my father dearly loved me.
When I entered my teens I started feeling really uncomfortable about what he was doing. I began protesting whenever he wanted to have sex with me but he always managed to force himself on me. He usually raped me when my mother was not at home. After each incident of rape he threatened that he would marry another woman as second wife if I talked about the incident to others. I afraid that I would lose my family if this happened, I felt helpless and “trapped” in this situation for I felt I was responsible in ensuring that nothing bad happened to my family. Whenever my father picked me up after my extra-curriculum activities in school, he used to take to certain places where he had anal sex with me. This often took place whenever my mother was at home. He used to rape me at least 10 times a month.
As time passed I decided to put a stop to my father’s advances. I ignored his threats and told some of my friends about it. They advised me to inform my mother but to my surprise, when I did, my mother refused to believe me. Later, I felt I had no choice but to leave home. Eventually with the help of my boyfriend, I left home and sought shelter from a women’s NGO. At last I felt safe. Then, with the help of a counselor from the NGO I made a police report. My father was arrested that very day and I was “removed” by the Welfare department (since I was still underaged) and placed in the Children’s Home.
During this time I was unable to attend school. It was also the year when I was about to sit for an important exam. After a month, through the juvenile court, my aunty was given temporary custody over me. I stayed with her and completed the exams. But I still lived in fear since my father was out on bail at that time. However, my uncle assured me that he would not allow my father to “hurt” me again. I was quite angry with my mother since she continued to take the side of my father in that he was innocent. Later, my mother contacted me in order to ask me to withdraw the case. She said that my father had “turned over a new leaf”. At the same time my uncle subtly advised me to drop all charges against my father. Worse still, they accused me of having had sex with my boyfriend and placing the blame on my father. After thinking about this, I felt I had no choice but to drop the charges as I was afraid I would lose the family environment. At the moment I am staying with my family. My father is also staying with us.